9 hours

until I board bus to LAX for Italia! I can't believe it is finally here! Now I just gotta finish packing and maybe take a nap...

incendiary longings.

She sat, sallow faced, wishing to be anyone, anyone else. She fumbled with her lighter, shakily struggled, and gave up.

This she thought, This is going to save me.

At this point she was feeling far too cliche for her own liking.

She hated who she was and was not.

a million excuses.

For as chaotic as my life is right now, and as chaotic as it is going to continue to be for the next 3 months straight, in this very moment I feel more comfortable than I have in quite some time.

great day.

I received a care package from the parents for finals, oh-so-typical and appropriate to my parents' personalities. From dad (I presume): a witty card with some pun or another, a CD from some band I have never heard of which he probably just liked the cover art, a giant book of American humor/short stories which actually looks really awesome, an avacado (yup), and brownies that are so good they are probably illegal. From mom (I also presume): a really encouraging card/note with a bible verse on it and decorated with flowers and butterflies, an envelope of some family pics from when I was home for Easter, tons of candy, a magnet with a quote on it, and a stuffed smiling banana with sunglasses toy (I don't even know...). Best care package ever.

Also, got my ISIC card today..checkitout!

stop all the clocks.

She was still unsure. Eternally to be so, she presumed. Was this one step closer to getting out? Or just forcing the whole 'grown up' thing?

Decisions have to be made, or nothing will happen. She couldn't be static and wait, she had to do something for herself, make something happen.

No going back. A jump into the sea of todays, tomorrows, and futures. Every choice is the right choice when it is what you want. Or what you think you want.

once in a while, when it's good.

"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young...won't someone stop this train?"

Am I even any good at being young?

If only everything were this ephemeral, there would be no surprises...

Lacking conviction, self-loathing and judging, epitome of hypocrisy.

don't you, steve?

here I am, rock you like a hurricane.

She took a drag on her cigarette, lamenting the fact that SNL was a rerun.

(hypothetical your team.)

"I must have you, my Egyptian goddess"

Vice. Vices. Saturday night. She likened it to that feeling you always get upon hearing the word 'maybe.'

capital. Her personality was effervescent.

The lack of a wikipedia page for Wilhelm Schubert van Ehrenberg made her like him even more. One way ticket to the palace of Circe.

Tiny purple mountains lined his shirt, right at the pocket line. #nowplaying

What a hot mess.

19, going on 21.

I've decided to skip being 20. I don't really like 20, the way it sounds, the way it means nothing new or exciting, the way it is an even number. So I'm staying 19 for another year. Until I turn 21. 19 is nice.